Man Warned After Thumb Biting Incident

*Revised on April 15, 2015
Katherine
Bryant

Verona, Italy

A group of men were walking down the streets of Verona yesterday when a fight broke out from an alleged thumb-biting took place. A man, Abram, was simply walking through the streets with a servingman of his, when he was confronted by Gregory and Sampson, of the House of Capulet, to which then Sampson was then seen biting his thumb.

“As Sampson said before the fight, “No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I do bite my thumb, sir.”,”(I:I:51-52) Gregory denied, “It was not meant as an offensive gesture.

Abram’s disbelief in Sampson truthfulness then led to a fight between all the men present, to which then a man, Benvolio, tried to step in and break up the quarrel, but to no avail.

“Part fools,” Benvolio quoted himself, “Put up your swords. You Know not what you do.” (I:I:65-66)

“Then Tybalt entered the scene,” described Benvolio. He admitted to being threatened by Tybalt for trying to keep the peace amongst the group.

Tybalt’s threats towards Benvolio only added to the fight at hand. The conditions of the fight also increased when the Capulets and the Montagues walked into the scene, and stirred up the event even more.

The fight only eventually came to a halt when the Prince shut it down, threatening the partakers with death if such a fight were to arise again.

The entire thing is bold because I just rewrote it.

a. Reflect on yourself as a writer. What do you consider to be your strengths? Where do you feel you need improvement?
I am fairly good at grammar and communication. I need be sure to fully understand assignments before they are assigned to make sure I know what I need to do for them. I also need to be more specific and being less passive in my writing.


b. What is your approach to proofreading your work?
When I proofread my work, I generally look through it for any glaring mistakes, and then I look at the success criteria and check again to make sure I have done all of that. I also sometimes have others look over it as well.

c. What was the hardest suggestion to implement while revising this work and why?
The hardest thing to do was trying to add in the direct lines from the play. I think I just misunderstood, but I was really unsure of how to do that and try to make it sound in context and like it made sense, so my worked lacked that, even in revision.

d. In the future, how can you ensure that you are submitting the most polished piece possible for evaluation?
I can spend more time on it and checking the success criteria. I can also ask for clarification on things so I know exactly what to do.


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